The Book of Doc

The Book of Doc contains the holy writings of Docism. First rediscovered by Hans, it has since been translated by Hans, Amy, and Doc himself. It contains all of the Old Testament, which is shared with Klaudism and Traditional Meeburism, and pertains to the founding of the religion, and the New Testament, which is specific to Docism.

 The Old Testament 

The Old Testament is filled with many of the creation stories. It also tells the stories of the saints of Docism.

Documentation of a Doctor

Scripture 11:6

In which Dengr becomes a saint.

“So, the man walked up the the altar, and sat down on one knee, he looked up at the statue looking over him, he prayed to the lord, ‘Oh Doc! Make me look good again!’ The man had been scarred from an accident, The lord spoke to him: ‘Your wish will be fulfilled Dengar, but you must worship Meebur and offer up your son, Dengr, to study as my Apostle.

Dengar accepted, and his son Dengr joined the Church of Doc.”

Revedoctions 14:14

An ancient tale of some of the original Followers of Doc.

“The Emperor landed on the planet of Doc, as thou was looking for thy relic.

“Where is it, Sithster Jolene,” the Emperor spoke.

”For I don’t know, thy emperor of mine. I, however, know where thee might look!”

And the Emperor replied, “Where?”

She pointed  the way for the Emperor, to the Holy Temple of Antidoch, and the Emperor and his following went to there.

“Here it is, oh Emperor of ours,” Sithster Sally spoke, “The holy Hand Grenade of Antidoch.”

“Well how is it used, Sithster Sally?” the Emperor spoke.

”Ask brother Maynard, he must know!”

“Oh Maynard, read the book of truths, how do we useth this thingeth.”

The brother read the book and said aloud:

“First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antidoch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.”

The Emperor and his following went to test it out; he followed the instructions, and soon the planet was gone, only the temple of Antidoch, and the Followers of Doc, surviving the explosion.”

The Doctrine 19:32

In which Thicc Fishy becomes a saint.

“Thy lord, and his saint Dengr, were out in thou boat, in the middle of the oceans of Mon Cala, fishing for the delicate Calamari which lived on thy planet. Dengr, he was there for the soothing salt water In the hopes that it would to heal his deformed skin. Doc, however, was there looking for a new apostle.

Suddenly, Doc got something, and he dragged his fishing rod in. It was heavy, but with the god like strength of Doc, he finally got it up to the surface. It was a Mon Calamari, in a deep navy blue, and he was certainly fat - he was Thicc even. The second Thicc Fishy got up, he attempted to eat Dengr, but Doc made him spit him out again.

And Doc said, “I’m looking for a saint, and this uncivilized beast will have to do,” and so they had found their apostle, another saint, Thicc Fishy.”

Documentations of a Doctor 21:11

In which Dengr gets his head garb approved as the official costume of the Church.

“When Saint Dengr joined the House of Holy, wearing head wraps were prohibited in the church. However, the good saint couldn’t go without his protective coverings, so an exception was made by Doc to allow the saints to wear head coverings in the church. Soon, the idea caught on with the other apostles, and it wasn’t long before a headwrap was the official garb of the church itself.

Today, priests of the church wear the white head garb to attempt to mimic the apostles, and become as close to their likeness as possible, both in spirit, and in body.”

Meeburonomy 21:54

Having been abandoned by the astromechs, Wac-47 and Meebur were left alone in the desolate Void. They had no means of navigation or communication. They were hopelessly stranded and lost on this hellish planet.

Meebur was becoming desperate and delirious, as he could not find any means of survival or escape. He started to become philosophical, questioning the nature of his own existence.

"We need a new plan, Colonel," spoke Wac unto Meebur.

To this, Meebur replied:

"I just realized: What if I'm dead? Ooh, what if I died in that shuttle crash and now… now I'm stuck here in limbo?"

Wac, being only a pilot droid, was unable to comprehend the wisdom of Meebur. As such, he replied, "Yes. I should have gone with the mechs."

Meebur continued to ponder the very nature of reality. Of life, and the futility of the struggles of mortal beings.

"Think about it," he said to the droid, "Life. Life is a void. We search and search for answers but there are none. Hope is just an illusion, Wac. Death is the only certainty."

As Meebur laid defeated on the floor of the endless void, Wac stood upright over him.

"Giving up is not in my programming," Wac asserted, "I am surprised that it is in yours, Colonel."

Meebur saw a faint reflection of himself in the lens of Wac's visual sensor, clouded by dust collected in the Void. He raised his right hand to wipe off this dust and view himself more clearly.

"Maybe… maybe you're right. I was taught to find a rational solution to every problem," Meebur said, recalling his early days of military training.

"But this void… this proves that that's not always possible. Maybe I need to change how I see things, and that will change my programming, my training!"

With this revelation, the Colonel stood up, having been reinvigorated by this new outlook.

"You know what?" He asked his droid companion, "You are more than just a pilot, Wac."

Wac was overjoyed to finally receive this praise from his Colonel and friend. He jumped up, laughing and shouting "I knew it, I knew it!"

"All right, all right, calm down, soldier," said Meebur. Having been remotivated to continue his mission, he needed to clear both his mind and Wac's to find out how to escape their current predicament.

 The New Testament 

The New Testament contains many of the writings of Doc himself, and the passages that pertain exclusively to Docism.

The Doctrine 15:34

In which Doc preaches against simping.

“One day, Doc strolled into an Onlyfans server in order to see what all the fuss was about. He was most appalled by the sheer simping and thotry that was rampant in the server. Several bots disguised as actual females continued to dm him links to other Onlyfans servers.

In order to access the parts of the server with the photographs of the un-garbed hostess, one needed to engage in a pyramid scheme. You needed to invite more people to the server, and each person to join from your invite unlocked a higher tier of nudes in the server.

Doc left a middle finger emote on every post in the server along with the letters T,H,O, and T,  and then left. The server prohibited talking in the channels so he wasn’t able to save the other sinners from the thotry.

However, Doc was still able to teach others a valuable lesson, in an effort to save them from future thots. To offer money for sexual reciprocation is pathetic lifestyle, especially when you aren’t even getting actual girls, but photos. The Internet is full of that stuff, but for free. Doc says real secks, with a real person. It’s more meaningful, and you won’t cry yourself to sleep every night because your rent money was swallowed up by a thot.”

 Docinations 12:51 

In which Doc gets sunburned and Meebur teaches the importance of protection against the sun.

“And so Doc approached Meebur, bemoaning his ill luck. And the good God Meebur spoke to Doc:

”And so thou hast been scorched by the fiery tongues of the sun. Hast thou donned the sun screener?”

And so Doc, heeding the advice of Meebur, requested of his apostle, Dengr, a head garb. And so Meebur then spoke:

”Doc don the garb of Dengr, and put-eth on much of the aloe plant’s gel, and thine burn shalt heal in time, but take heed! Thou hast only one set of skin. Take-eth care of it!”